Camden is 10
and in the 4th grade
|  | Camden's Corner... a place for kids:
Camden's Corner is a monthly article written by a bereaved young person, using a pen name. It is intended to provide Willow House kids with a place where they can
dialogue about things that are important to them. Parents are encouraged to share this column with their children. It may provide a springboard for further family discussions.Our previous letters are all saved here... Dear Camden,
My family always takes a trip to Michigan after Thanksgiving and we stay in a hotelthat has a big indoor water park. It's supposed to be fun. And it used to be. But last year, with my sister Tracey gone, I hated it. I didn't have anyone to go swimming with me. Mom and Dad were always tired. I don't want to go this year. It just feels too different -- in a sad way. But how do I tell Mom and Dad?
Ashley, age 7
Dear Ashley,
That's a hard question, but your feelings make sooo much sense to me. Like, my Fourth of July wasn't nearly as fun this year without Mom. Dad and I went to
Wisconsin Dells this year, because it's what we always do, but there were so many sad moments. To me, it seemed like Dad didn't notice, but they were everywhere. I mean, Mom always wanted the orange ball, so I missed her when we played Putt Putt. And she always rubbed the sunscreen on my back, so I missed her when we went to the water-park. Plus, the hotel room felt too big. I'm not used to Dad sleeping in a bed all by himself. I think Dad was used to Mom planning our trips, because he kept asking me if we needed a map, or if I had the papers for the hotel. I kept saying, “I dunno.” Because how would I know? It was really weird.
Finally, the second night we were there, Dad told me to “Lose My Attitude,” and I got so mad. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to scream and get in more trouble, but I couldn't leave the hotel room without Dad. So I slammed the door to the bathroom and sat in the bathtub with all my clothes on. My throat felt achy, and my eyes kept tearing up. It didn't feel fair. Pretty soon, Dad knocked on the door, and when I didn't say anything, he came inside and sat on the tile floor. I thought he was going to be mad, but he just said, “You know, this is hard without your Mom, isn't it?”
I was so relieved when he said that. Man, then my eyes really teared up. Even though I cried, I'm glad he brought it out in the open. Because then we got to
talking about some of our memories, and I knew Dad had not too. Also, we decided to go to a new place the next day - the zoo. Mom hadn't been there before, so it didn't have so many memories with it. Dad and I had a good time, and you know what? She wouldn't have liked the Reptile House anyway.
So Ashley, I'd say that hard as it is, I'd talk to your parents about Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe they'd be relieved that you took the first step - bringing up the topic. They may still go on the trip, but maybe you could compromise by doing something new or special- and create a new tradition. Either way, at least they'd know how you feel. Even if you feel really sad on the trip, you'll know your feelings are normal. It's just part of learning a new life without your loved one. And if you do have fun, don't feel guilty - I'm sure your sister would want you to have a good time when you can! Hope that helps, and I'll catch you later, ok?
From, Me. (Camden).
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